Delta Phi Cappa- Fraternity House- Int. Day
Open on a ratty town home interior that could only be the remnants of frat dudes: cannabis plants grow in the corners, fast food packaging adorns every table, and the trashcans overflow with Bud-light cases.
We hear a knock on the door. DANNY, a chiseled bro in tight khakis and a button-down, opens the door. On the other side is KATHY, 40s with a power-suit and clipboard in her hand.
KAthy
Mr.Ryan, I'm Kathy from the executive board of Greek Life on campus, is now a good time for reevaluation?
Lucas
Absolutely come in. We, as an organization, took a step back when the Delta Phi Cappa chapter was kicked off campus for hosting our "Kissing Booth Mixer" during lockdown.
KATHY scribbles some notes down as another member, ZACH, joins the two in the living room.
LUCAS
This is my co-president Jack.
JACK
Hi. Luke and I have been together nonstop to redo the mission for the Fraternity. We even Eiffel Towered a girl together.
JACK
We did. We'd like to formally apply for a new Greek organization on campus: Delta Phi Beta- the very first feminist fraternity!
KAthy
It says here your applying under an existing organization?
LUCAS
We are! Delta Phi Beta is at all the top feminist schools we've visited: Penn State, Cornell and MIT! Every single woman says they feel safe when we did a sample poll in front of their apartment buildings!
Kathy
Yeah, for some reason this feels misinformed already.
Zach steps in to save the conversation.
JACK
No! Our fraternity is going to break down gender norms, smash the patriarchy. Just look at out last Greek Event.
Zach pulls out a laptop screen as we-
CUT TO:
DELTA PHI BETA EVENT- EXT. DAY
A group of burly men are dressed with EMPATHY BELLIES on as they each do kegstands.
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Delta Phi Cappa- Fraternity House- Int. Day
KAthy
Are they all wearing pregnancy simulators?
LUCAS
Yes! We wanted to act with solidarity about the struggles of naturally carrying a child.
JACK
Or not! We don't discriminate between natural birth and Epidurals. Stop the stigma!
Kathy
Wow, this is actually a pretty good way to be an ally to women.
LUCAS
We told you! Look at how we demonstrate the pain of child bearing-
CUT TO:
DELTA PHI BETA EVENT- EXT. DAY
One of the EMPATHY BELLY FRAT BROS stands as another member forcefully kicks him in the groin at point blank.
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Delta Phi Cappa- Fraternity House- Int. Day
KAthy
Oh my god!
LUCAS
Right? We do that to every new pledge to symbolize the gender constructs of the modern world.
Kathy
Look, I think what you're doing could be powerful, but this isn't it. We don't allow for hazing in any Greek organization.
JACK
It's not hazing. We only challenge our pledges to see a three dimensional view of womanhood. For example, on Initiation day, we line up and touch the Empathy Bellies until our pledges feel uncomfortable and violated.
LUCAS
I think we have a video of it here...
KAthy
That's enough. I don't think I can approve this organization. Can't you just treat the women in sororities as equals without all this?
JACK
(pondering)
Oh.
LUCAS
I never thought of it like that.
JACK
Respectfully Ms.Kathy, if we offer to pay double initiation fees to come back onto campus, does it really matter?
Kathy
Nope, I'll start the paperwork.
LUCAS
Perfect, let's go over it in the kitchen. Right down the hall lined with Tito's jugs and next to the Barstool Sports flag.
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